Loving yourself is the only thing that matters. The only thing. That’s a bold statement to make. Surely, being a good person, finding a way to be kind, being of service, all of these things are equally, if not more, important than loving yourself. Nope. I challenge it all. Loving yourself is the only thing that matters.
If I could give a gift to anyone, it would be the gift of deep self-love. This love would be free from any conditions or circumstances. It would form the undercurrent and foundation of their lives and would support and inform all of their decisions from the smallest to the largest, scariest ones.
Loving yourself is the only thing that matters. It is the superpower I would give everyone on the planet. Better than the ability to leap buildings in a single bound or fly or have x-ray vision, would be an unending fountain of self-love and compassion. I would like to create an army of self-love super heroes teaching everyone the power of loving yourself.
Why Loving Yourself is the Most Important Thing
Why is loving yourself the only thing that truly matters? Surely, loving another human, whether it be a spouse or a child is an honourable thing to do. I absolutely agree. Loving another person is one of the greatest gifts of a lifetime but it cannot come before the love that you have for yourself. Let me elaborate.
When we love ourselves fully, we set the benchmark by which other people treat us. When you love yourself deeply, you know what it feels like to be safe and seen free from external distraction or condition. This kind of love is unshakeable. It cannot be taken away. Many of us grew up in wonderful happy homes, and many of us didn’t. We can spend an entire lifetime looking for the love that we were supposed to get from our parents and family. We can have the voices of other people in our heads when it comes to our understanding of who we really are. This can lead down a dark and dangerous path.
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Have you ever been in a bad relationship? Have you ever deprived yourself of food or relentlessly worked out to achieve a number on a scale, thinking that a size or that number will make you happy? Have you ever numbed your emotions with substances in the spirit of having a good time only to wake up the next day feeling like hell emotionally and physically? Have you ever experienced the rush of spending money just to feel guilty later about spending the money?
We can look for love in all the wrong places for an entire lifetime. We can hear the voices of the past or the voice of someone else when we think of who we are. Sometimes those voices are so strong that we cannot even hear our inner voice or answer the question: “who am I.”
Loving yourself is the only thing that matters. I will continue to say it, until you start to believe it.
More Power Than You Will Ever Know
What if you have a wonderful partner and a beautiful family and abundant love in your life. Isn’t that enough? That is amazing! I am deeply happy for you and I celebrate you. Do you also love yourself fully? Do you feel guilty when it is time to take care of yourself? Do you struggle with speaking up for yourself or asking for what you need?
The journey to loving yourself may be easy. Maybe you have always been able to see yourself through the eyes of love, but maybe you have never even looked. If the thought of loving yourself is terrifying to you, then that it is the very place to start. That fear or uncertainty is a mine full of the riches you seek.
It begins with a commitment. You must decide that despite the urge to run or blame or turn away from yourself that you will keep coming back to the intention to create a different relationship with yourself. There is only one way to get through this and it is to love yourself through it. If it seems impossible, then it will be the hardest work you will ever do but the rewards are worth it.
What happens when you can begin to truly love yourself?
There is nothing more freeing than knowing deeply that you are loved. We oftentimes think that it must come from another person, but that formula is backward and gets us into trouble. When you love yourself fully, you teach everyone around you how to not only treat you, but how to love you.
I received a call from my nephew recently, actually, wait……it was probably a text! He wanted to go for a walk with me. Of course, I said YES, because when your 20 something year old nephew wants to hang out, you jump at the chance. We were walking in a local park and he asked me: “how did you know that Matt (my husband) was the one?” Without hesitation, I answered him. I called him into my life because I knew that the love I had for myself would be matched by the person that I chose to build my life with. I have never doubted my partnership, because he was the first person that loved me in the same way that I loved myself.
When you love yourself fully, you will experience an unshakeable confidence and security that can never be taken away. It will form the foundation of the decisions you make, the way that you take care of yourself, the people that you have in your life, what you tolerate, the list is endless. Your reality will improve with the degree to which you decide to commit to loving yourself. I am not saying that this is easy but it will be the most rewarding thing that you ever decide to undertake.
There is Freedom in Loving Yourself.
Freedom comes when you know that the decisions that you make are right for you. It comes from a deep trust and knowledge that you are listening to your voice and making decisions that are in alignment. It is a process to uncover that voice and to love yourself fully, but it is the most rewarding thing you will ever do. When you commit to loving yourself you will unleash more power than you will ever know and in that power you can change the world and the lives of the people around you.
Tell me, how can you decide to love yourself fully right now? Stay tuned for a post on ways to love yourself starting right now!
Please remember that you are not alone. I can help you identify what is standing in the way of your deeply loving yourself and experiencing the freedom that comes with this unshakable love.